a beautiful relationship

it's Amazon Prime deal day,

so i go online

and order a humanoid

robotic

machine

made

to look like Heidi Klum

from

back in her runway

days.

completely assembled.

she or it

even has the distinctive

German

accent.

nice touch

and she has almost

imperceptible

human

girl parts.

i just need an assistant

around the house.

light cleaning,

laundry,

a few meals during

the week.

someone to walk the dog.

i could show her/it how

to use the coffee

machine

and put cream cheese on

a toasted bagel.

maybe we could go out

once in a while

to the movies

or dinner.

which would be cheaper

than most

dates, seeing that she doesn't

eat or drink.

just a new lithium battery

once in a while.

i'd get the nag free

model.

the one that wouldn't talk

while you're

watching tv,

or sleeping.

there would be no issues

with her

hogging the bathroom

or using

up all the hot water,

because

she's not human

and water might short

out her electrical circuitry.

there'd be no talk about going

to the grand

canyon,

or to the Madi Gras,

or to Norstrom Rack

for a shoe sale. plus,

there'd be no mother-in-law

wanting to move in,

or kids in trouble

needing money

or another stint in rehab.

but i'd respect her of course.

and call her whatever

pronoun

she'd like me to use.

this could be the start 

of a beautiful relationship.