Friday, December 15, 2023

taste like chicken, or it used to

My friend Ernie
is a scientist down at the Dow
Chemical plant.
he's part of the team that invented
napalm.
i ask him
what's new, what he's been up
to lately.
bombs, chemical warfare,
any new viruses that will end
mankind as we know it?
what are you working on
these days? his face
lights up as he begins 
to tell me that they
are now able to
make anything taste
like pineapples.
that's great i tell him,
he takes a rock out of his pocket
and says, taste this.
but it looks like a rock
it is a rock,
but it tastes like pineapple.
go ahead, bite into it.
but i'll break my teeth.
no you won't. we found
a way to soften it up.
it's completely harmless
other than tooth decay
and affecting your insulin
resistance, and has zero
 nutritional value, but it
has a very nice flavor.
it won't kill you, at least so
far we haven't had anyone
die from eating them.
i slowly chew on the little rock.
damn, i tell him,
it does taste a lot like pineapple.
amazing.
but i think they've already invented
these things, Doc.
they call them gummy bears.
no, no, these are different.
these aren't shaped like bears,
these will be shaped like
tiny pineapples,
we're working on the whole
fruit world.
bananas, cherries, apples.
with this secret flavoring technique
we can make
anything taste like whatever 
we want it to.
fish, meat, chicken.
how great would it be to take
a bite into
flounder and it tastes like
a cherry pie?
we can make them any flavor
you want.
but hey, nice chatting,
i have to run and get
down to the lab.
we're having a little trouble with
the kiwi flavor.



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