cancelling the wedding

i get the call to come quick,

my friend

Lizzy,

is out on the ledge of her building

threatening to jump.

i get there,

and try to talk her down.

hey, hey, i say to her.

what are you doing out there?

come on in.

come on down.

it can't be that bad, can it?

what's going on?

Harry asked me to marry him,

she says.

holding her hand out,

showing me the ring.

i just don't think i can do it.

and there's only

one way out, which is to jump.

oh, come on, i tell her.

just say no. call it off.

i can't, she says. 

i bought the dress, ordered

the wedding cake,

and sent out over a hundred

invitations. the bridesmaids

have already rented their

peach colored dresses.

a three tier cake is being made

as we speak,

and Harry has already booked

a flight to Rome for our honeymoon.

i don't even love him.

i was drunk and confused when

i said yes.

you know how i get when i'm

drinking tequila.

geeze Marie, i tell her.

look, it's only three floors up,

go ahead and jump, but try and hit

those hedges over there.

deflect the landing a little,

you might just break and arm

or a leg and get scraped up,

but you'll be in the hospital

for awhile, and get out of this

mess your in.

hold on for a little while

longer, i'll go down

and throw some of your

couch pillows around to soften

the landing in case

you miss the bushes.

try and roll when you hit

the ground, okay?