i get the call to come quick,
my friend
Lizzy,
is out on the ledge of her building
threatening to jump.
i get there,
and try to talk her down.
hey, hey, i say to her.
what are you doing out there?
come on in.
come on down.
it can't be that bad, can it?
what's going on?
Harry asked me to marry him,
she says.
holding her hand out,
showing me the ring.
i just don't think i can do it.
and there's only
one way out, which is to jump.
oh, come on, i tell her.
just say no. call it off.
i can't, she says.
i bought the dress, ordered
the wedding cake,
and sent out over a hundred
invitations. the bridesmaids
have already rented their
peach colored dresses.
a three tier cake is being made
as we speak,
and Harry has already booked
a flight to Rome for our honeymoon.
i don't even love him.
i was drunk and confused when
i said yes.
you know how i get when i'm
drinking tequila.
geeze Marie, i tell her.
look, it's only three floors up,
go ahead and jump, but try and hit
those hedges over there.
deflect the landing a little,
you might just break and arm
or a leg and get scraped up,
but you'll be in the hospital
for awhile, and get out of this
mess your in.
hold on for a little while
longer, i'll go down
and throw some of your
couch pillows around to soften
the landing in case
you miss the bushes.
try and roll when you hit
the ground, okay?
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