dreaming of a white christmas

it was around

this time of year, the holidays

when the marriage

was falling apart

that my

second wife

tapped

the phones and had me

followed.

she also download every

key stroke

on my computer

and emptied my bank account.

i remember it well.

that clicking

noise on

the phone, looking in my

rear view mirror

and seeing

her crazy sister in her

green Ford Taurus,

slumping down

in her seat, when she

saw me looking.

every morning, when we

woke up,

the ex didn't say good morning

dear, love of my life,

father of my son,

no,

instead she'd say, today

the Sherriff is coming to 

arrest you.

for what reason, she never told me.

this all took place around

the holidays,

and so now,

every time, i hear

Bing Crosby singing 

White Christmas, or i see

a tree on top of someone's car,

or the holiday inn where i stayed

at for a week,

a tear comes,

to my eye, breathing is difficult,

and i begin to have 

a panic attack.