the fork in the road

i plot out

the trip around the beltway

to hang three sheets

of pre-pasted wallpaper.

my GPS

suggests going

through town.

dopes. 

take 395

to the 3rd street tunnel,

then somehow find 16th street

and go straight

for about an hour. or, what

you can do is take Memorial Bridge

to the Whitehurst freeway

up  through Rock Creek Park,

making a hard left

onto Connecticut.

MapQuest says no,

hell no.

don't go that way.

what are you nuts.

how about you

circle around, over the

Wilson Bridge, into

PG county,

towards Baltimore,

stay in the right lane,

it's Ben Hur over there.

keep going until you

reach New Hampshire

Avenue, route 29,

otherwise known as 

Colesville Road.

the sign will say Monroeville

in fifteen miles,

but ignore that.

take that exit and keep

driving.

I check with Waze.

for a third opinion.

it suggests taking a large

thermos

of hot coffee, stop for

gas and a donut, then take

the beltway around through

Fairfax County, keep going,

keep going, soon

you'll be in Maryland,

when you see that crazy 

Mormon Temple, you're getting

close.

slow down, curve ahead.

traffic.

you should have brought an

empty cup to pee in.

there is no option to fly.