the date went terribly awry

she called herself

Connie,

but when i opened her purse

as she

was powdering her

nose,

i saw on her driver's license

that her real name

was Felicia.

there was a wanted poster

in there too

with her picture on it.

what else

didn't i know i wondered.

later, she asked me

if i was in her purse 

while she was in the bathroom,

and i told her yes,

but because i was looking

for a mint

or a stick of gum

to freshen my breath

before kissing her.

how dare you look in

a woman's purse, she said.

and started for the door.

mad as a hornet.

i'm leaving. don't ever

call me again.

okay, okay, i said.

take care Felicia.

i'm not Felicia anymore,

i'm Connie and if you ever

call me that again

i'm coming back, and it won't

be pretty.

then she slammed the door.