Tuesday, May 23, 2023

modern medicine

i go for the annual
shot in my knees,
to curb the arthritic
pain resulting from fifty
years of playing basketball
on concrete courts.
it's a fiery mixture
of cortisone and lidocaine.
at some point, the doc says.
we might have to replace
them. hips too, and maybe
your entire spinal cord.
you are severely lacking
in cartilage.
from now until memorial day
there's a two for one surgery
deal on both knees and hips.
or if you'd like i can sign
you up for a complete body
replacement.
huh, i say, rubbing my knee
after he pulls the needle out.
yes, he says. it's the latest thing.
we clone your body from
dna we extract from your 
sperm cells and make a new you.
we speed up the aging process
with what we refer to as
the whirly bird machine,
until the body is eighteen
years old, and then we remove
your brain and put it in the new
body. you don't want
the teenage brain, no one wants that. 
the whole process
takes about six weeks.
what do you think?
okay, i tell him.
how much.
oh it'll cost. but no worries.
we have financing
that's very generous.
what about my soul?
ummm, well, we're working on
that. it's a little sketchy
what happens there.

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