Judy,
happens to be
the president of the condo board.
nine years in a row.
i'm on her list.
i'd say i'm on her bad side,
but that is
the only side there is.
why aren't you watering
your plants and bushes
in front of your house?
she asks me, stamping her foot.
i see that one is dead.
it's dead, i tell her because
there's no freaking spigot,
no hose, no access to water,
in front of these connected houses.
plus
i'm paying the condo association
five hundred dollars a month
to take care
of landscaping.
it gets worse.
she tells me she's a volunteer,
that she doesn't get paid,
i tell her big whoop,
do you want a medal or a chest
to pin it on,
and then a parade.
her eyes grow dark.
are you still towing cars
in the middle of the night, i ask her.
if they don't follow
the rules, yes. they get towed.
you must obey the rules.
why is it so hard for you to be nice?
this is a very small community,
we all know each other.
why not a warning?
no, no warning.
one strike and you're out.
you must follow the rules,
she says repeatedly,
before marching off with her
clipboard, doing a goosestep.
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