a way to a man's heart

i hate men,

she tells me. all they want

is sex.

and food,

drink.

they don't want to go to the mall.

or to the museums.

walk on the beach

hand in hand.

they have a one track

mind.

wham bam

thank you ma'am

and away they go

to be with their friends

playing 18 holes.

sure they send you flowers,

or give you chocolates,

or a piece of jewelry, but

only when they want

something in return,

or are apologizing for some

stupid thing they did.

a way to a man's heart

is with a sharp

knife.

pfffft. men.

i'm switching to the other side.

Ellen is my true

best friend.