having the pre sex talk

before we make love

she says,

we should have a talk.

okay.

sure, i tell her, trying to unzip

her dress.

stop, she says.

hold on.

pump your brakes.

oh, sorry, habit.

so, okay, talk.

do you have anything?

like what?

you know, like heebie jeebies.

bed bugs?

no, you know what i mean.

std's.

stuff like that.

no, been lucky.

russian roulette at times,

but lucky.

i cross my self

and knock on wood.

me either, she says, but i

was married for thirty years

and he just died

three weeks ago.

whereas you've been out there

catting around

for god knows how long.

i'm good,

i say. had blood work done

six months ago.

clean bill of health although

they did find a few

martini olives in my aorta.

well. i still don't trust you.

she pulls out a shoe box full

of shiny plastic square envelopes.

i bought a wide

selection of sizes and colors,

shapes and designs.

what are these, i ask her.

you don't know what these are?

they look familiar.

they still make these? i remember

them in the 80's.

wow, it's like taking a walk

down memory lane.

cool, thanks for showing them to me.

it's good to have a hobby. my mother

was a collector too.

she collected postage stamps

from all over the world.

i'll show them to you sometime.

now turn around,

let me see if i can get this zipper

unstuck.

dang i can barely

get my fingers on it.