she wants to go to happy hour with me
now that the bars are opened up again.
i tell her that a new shipment of calamari
just came in after they dredged the potomac
near the blue plains sewage treatment
plant. a dump truck full of calamari
is ready for dipping into secret sauce.
i know how much you like them, i tell
her, smacking my lips for effect.
ding dang, she says. i wish i could, but
i have a spin class coming up in ten minutes,
huh?
what's that?
it's a class, we have a certified spin
instructor, Bambi, i think she's from california,
so you know she's cool.
we spin the wheels and she
yells at us on a microphone,
while they play music.
we're all lined up in rows.
so you're on stationary bikes?
yes. but they're really nice ones,
very sturdy, a pretty orange.
sometimes the seats are a little
mushy and gooey if there was a class
before yours, but once you wipe them down
with bleach
they're good to go. the bleach and wipes
are included in the membership
fee, by the way.
why don't you just go for a bike ride?
no one yells at you when you do that
and you don't have to worry about the bleach.
i guess i could, but i don't like all that
wind in my hair,
and putting air into my tires.
plus the bell on my bike broke off
and i can't find it.
okay, okay.
well what about after that, i can
meet you then. happy hour should still be on.
darn, sorry, but i have a walking class
after that.
what? a walking class? really?
yes, yes.
i'm learning how to navigate
the local trails.
which can be very tricky
when they switch over from pavement
to gravel, then dirt and then back again,
all within an eighth of a mile.
the instructor carefully
guides us on how to avoid geese doo doo,
tip toeing around it,
which is everywhere, and how to step
around puddles. he showed us
how to put a board down over
a puddle,
if there's one around.
Buddy, our instructor, said that it's good
to carry a stick with you
in case of snakes, or if you need
to stab at a rabid animal coming at you.
i use my umbrella, which has a nice
metal point at the end of it.
i'm learning so much about walking.
it's not just one foot in front of
the other. you should join up.
in fact join the spin class too. you'll love
it.
maybe, let me think about.
okay. i thought about it. no.
i need a drink now, maybe two.
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