the light is everywhere

I tell my therapist,
to take the sharpest knife
out of her educated
drawer and start cutting.

slice me to the bone.
eviscerate my soul.

I know it's going to hurt
more than
any pain I've ever known,

but please, for the sake
of sanity, for the life of me,
begin, let's get to the bottom
of why

I've made the same mistake
over and over.

seeking the most chaotic and sick
individuals to fall in love with,

the incurable narcissists.

so she does. okay, she says.
here we go.

I scream, I cry, I bend over
like a child
and let it all out. I weep my
heart out.

but in the end I get it.

i truly see the cause, I see the origin
of all lies.

hello father.

it isn't just a light at the end
of a tunnel.

the light is everywhere.