not sleeping

at night, not sleeping.
wide eyed in the dark

i pondered the shadowed
ceiling, staring at
a quiet fan in spin

bringing some relief
to summers thickened heat.
I wondered

what she was thinking.
asleep or not, a foot
apart, but in retrospect
a thousand miles

between us.
then I realized that all
my thoughts were
trained on her, while

hers were elsewhere,
on someone else.
which in the end made
it reasonable and easy

to abandon a ship that
was listing, and sinking
quickly to darker sand.