Sunday, October 13, 2019

forgiveness is hard

I think back to a year ago,
at this time, this same month.

the leaves falling, a chill in the air.

there was no joy in looking forward to
the holidays.

just anxiety and fear.

the brutal hell I was going through
will never be forgotten,
in love with an imaginary woman,
a liar.

sharing a home and life with someone
who was betraying me
with a married man, her lover
of seven years.

each day was worse than the next,
each clue I found was
cruel and harsh.

I was grateful for the help I got,
from friends,
from books, therapy.
a sweet woman who gave me comfort.
all of them telling me to get out.

they saved my life. got me off
my knees. it took time. a lot of time
to see the light, but even now
with this fall wind, the cascade of leaves
it brings it all back,
the sting of it all feels fresh at
times, and the cut will bleed.

forgiveness comes hard, forgetting
even harder.

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