significant strides

you make significant
strides
in becoming a better person,

but it only last for a day or
two,
then you're back
being what you've been for most
of your life.

half good, half bad, a third
indecisive.

rinse and repeat, clichés
again.

you promise yourself to not write
in the victim
mode,
to leave the harm that others have
done to you alone,

but it's easy and strangely fun
to scratch at old wounds,
pick the scabs, tear at them
and have
the old blood run.

the pendulum of your heart
swings back
and forth
from revenge to apathy,
each
wrestling with one another
for attention. trying
to steer your day.

in time though, you know
that indifference and
good cheer
will eventually win out,
that all of this
insanity will at last be
finished.