dope money

the summary
of savings appears in the mail.

stocks, etc.
equity in the house.
personal savings.

change in the jar on the fridge.
pocket cash.

I remember having four hundred
dollars in the bank once,
and feeling pretty damn proud
of that.

I had enough to get a haircut,
buy and new shirt
and take my girl out.

now I get nervous as the market
jumps
and stalls, falls backwards.

seven figures seems hardly enough
anymore.

will there be enough at the end
of the road, to keep me
in clothes.

oatmeal and diapers,
a nurse to hold my hand,
strangers caring for me,
people
that I don't even know.

will there be
enough syringes full of quieting
dope

so that I forget I've grown
old?