you'll just paint more houses

we never actually had real conversations,
my first ex wife
and I.
she played the devil's
advocate
on just about everything that
came out of my mouth.

if I said the trains were not
running on time
today,
she'd reply with, do you know how
hard it is to
keep a schedule.
the weather, the crowds, the holiday.
you should be happy that they
show up at all.

I asked her once, after the
ink dried on the divorce decree
if she had any regrets.
she said yes. several.
one being that she wished she
had done differently things
with her life.

like what, I said.
go back to school? become
an actress, perhaps?
no she said. I wished I had
married a richer man,
a lawyer or a doctor,
a politician perhaps.
someone with more money, so
that my alimony would be more
today.

bored without a job,
the son in school all day,
she wanted to balance the check
at one point in our marriage, so
I agreed.
every month she made sure
there was zero balance, to which
I asked her why.

what happened to the savings,
the rainy day money,

and she said, what are you worried
about, you'll just paint more
houses.