unparenting

each year
as the paint peels,
as the rust appears
I think
differently of parents,
of who they were,
what was gained
or lost,
how shackled they were
by their own
upbringing, locked
in fear,
trapped by doubt.
who's to blame for us.
who's fault is it
that we too are so
screwed up.
it takes a lifetime
it seems, to undo
what they've done
to us.