do not buy peel and stick wallpaper

please,

i beg the client. please,

please

don't buy the peel and stick

wallpaper.

it's not wallpaper,

it's contact

paper, fly paper, shelf

paper.

it's what your mother used

to cover up the shelves

in her kitchen pantry.

you can't smooth it out.

it sticks to everything

it touches,

including you, or any

cats and dogs moseying

around.

yes, it's colorful

and has wonderful patterns,

but

it's made in hell.

it will make you say words 

you haven't said

since your last divorce.

it's the devil's workshop.

resist the temptation

and don't buy

this crapola.

the busiest phone number

on the planet

is their 800 help line.

you'll regret this purchase.

take my hand,

look me in the eyes.

i can help you off this ledge.