please, please, you have to stop

after i caught

my wife sleeping with the mailman,

the milkman,

and the avon lady,

i kicked her out of the house,

but i couldn't

get the wedding ring

off my finger.  it was stuck.

i used soap,

and lotion,

olive oil and grease, but

it wouldn't budge.

finally i took a hack saw

to it,

and slowly cut into

the gold

band, until i was able

to pry it off with a pair

of pliers.

i then went to my doctor

to get

a tetanus shot.

not again, he said. please,

please,

you have to stop.