party in our house,
but we're worried that we're not
woke enough.
i ask my wife Betty if we have
one of those
BLM placards to put in the window.
she shakes her head no.
we never had one of those.
well, i tell her, maybe put that
Michelle Obama book on the coffee
table so that people can
see it, and maybe ask the Jacksons
if they'd like to come to the party.
she writes that down.
oh and put the SUV in the garage,
and pull the Prius into the driveway,
maybe scrape off that
Support Your Local Sheriff bumper
sticker if you have the time.
Betty writes that down.
What about your friend Bruce,
she asks me. maybe invite him too,
and his boyfriend, Timmy. oh no, he's
on Fire Island for the week, darn.
but maybe we can borrow his
rainbow flag that's hanging on his
porch and tack it up over our doorway.
excellent idea, she says.
doesn't your therapist know the
psychiatrist who has Greta Thunberg
for a patient. that would be a major
coup. excellent idea, and put
out those blue recycling bins that
we never use. put them out by
the curb so that people can see
them when they arrive.
are we for the war in Ukraine, or
against it? hmmm. we'll have to play
that one by ear,
but we are definitely open to open
borders, and no tuitions, free
needles for all those people lying
in the streets all over the country.
agreed, she says. agreed.
do we know any socialists we can
invite? i can't think of any.
nah, me either. maybe that teacher
who just moved into the neighborhood,
the house on
the corner with all those chickens
in the yard.
i'll stop by and see if she's interested
in coming.
i think she's part Asian too, so that
would be a bonus.
you know what would be golden,
i tell her, what, she says.
if we could get your sister to pretend
she's a transgender.
no offense, but she does have a
boyish figure, and short hair.
and all she has to do is put on a plaid shirt
and some combat boots. we can pay
her a hundred dollars.
she looks kind of confused and angry
all the time anyway
in that pre-op kind of way.
let me call her, she says, writing
that down on her list.
what about food, she asks me.
should i try to make that tofu turkey
that i saw on the internet.
sure, why not, give it a try, but
organic tofu, okay.
and put out a bowl of skittles too,
everyone
likes skittles. i'll pick up a case
of Bud Light in those blue cans.
yes, she says, most def. high five.
oh, one more thing.
maybe we should go see that movie,
Barbie, before the party,
so that we can tell everyone
how wonderful and true it is.
we can both wear pink.
that's a deal, she says.
i think we've got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment