she's somewhere, but not here

I spin the globe
with my eyes closed and
place my finger
on it, getting it to stop.

this is where i'll go.
maybe.

Australia. nah, I don't think
so.

I try again. Nairobi. umm,
no.
once more.
Moscow. nyet.

I spin it hard this time.
Fiji.

okay, close. again.
then san diego.

I write that down. good weather,
the ocean.
it's a possibility.

again, Seattle. hmmm.
it could happen,

but for the first time I begin
to think
of where next.

to get out of this place.
away from these memories.
to start anew.

start fresh. there's nothing,
no one holding me
down, keeping me here.

why not, pack the bags and
hit the road.

she's waiting for me,
somewhere, but it's not here.