tell us about the war grandpa

it's a trend now
for young people to
ask older people
what was going on
way back when. to gather
a real person history,
recording
or filming
the answers for
posterity. tell us
about the civil
war grandpa, they say,
hitting the record
button. which makes
grandpa grab
his cane and swing
it around the room
trying to hit
anyone within reach.
I wasn't in no civil
war. I'm only sixty
years old
for crying out loud.
were you in the Vietnam
war, killing defenseless
women and children?
what are you insane,
I didn't go
to no stupid war. I was
a peace nik, a protester.
hell no, we won't go.
ever heard that phrase you
snotty little brats?
we used to chant that
as we marched around the mall,
no not springfield mall
with the jc pennys, but
the national mall.
we had a great time
singing and protesting
men burning their draft
cards and women burning
their bras
until Nixon and his
Nazi youth tear gassed us.
were you a hippy,
grand pop. did you take
LSD and ride around
in a mini van painted
all psychedlic like?
tell us about your trips,
grand pop. did you know
the Beatles? why were
women burning their bras?
did you have hair then?
you know what,
I'm done with you
kids. I've got to get
going I've got a date
tonight, and it takes
me an hour to get dressed.
out of my way.