all is forgiven

I was raised
catholic, she tells
you, rubbing the knuckles
on her hand,
then taking a stiff
drink of
gin to her lips.
but I don't believe
in god anymore. so
what do you believe
in, you ask her.
I'm not sure, but
it's hard for me
to believe
that bad people
can still get into
heaven with a last
second confession
and statement
of faith. that means
hitler oculd be in
heaven, or Charles
manson, or my next
door neighbor jimmy.
jimmy, you say, raising
your eyebrows.
yeah, he was cutting
his grass the other
day and mowed down
all of my flowers
that I planted
last spring.
he could be there too,
she says, shaking
her head with
utter amazement. I
don't want to be
in heaven if he's
there too.