on the wagon

so many people you
know are on the wagon.
all the fun
drunks you used to hang
out with, are bone
dry and drinking
club sodas and apple juice.
it's hard to go
out with them anymore.
the guilt you feel
as you order your mai
tais and vodka tonics.
they don't appreciate
how funny and charming
you become as the night
wears on. they don't
chuckle as you drip
food onto your shirt
or insult people by
pointing and making
faces, no
instead they get a napkin
and dip it into their
glasses of ice
water to dab out the
stains. they say, shhhh,
you're yelling. stop
yelling. always telling
you to pull up
your zipper. oh how they
used to get your
jokes and laugh and
laugh all night long
with you, staggering
home together, falling
in the street, tearing
your pants. what fun
you used to have,
finding a bush to
throw up in,
and now they just
wave and pat you
sympathetically on
the back, asking if they
can drive or walk
you home. telling you
to drink water and take
two aspirins. they are just
no fun anymore.