a new Sheriff in town

in an act

of kindness, a parting gift

to his

loyal

followers, the lame

duck

president pardons

every person

in Hollywood

that sent him money

or who voted

for the cackling VP.

his arm and hand

aches with

carpal tunnel syndrome.

it's a busy night by candle

light,

as he goes through

the lists

of scientists and journalists,

who might

be indicted on crimes

against the nation,

mayors and congressmen

and women.

senators.

the entire cast of the View

and MSNBC.

teachers and lawyers.

university presidents.

the whole messy left,

is quaking

in their boots,

wondering if they're next

when

the new Sheriff in town

starts making arrests.