getting beach ready

i'm working

on my

pecs

i tell Susie, my trainer

down at the

gym.

nice, she says,

flexing

her tanned arms

in the mirror,

loading up

weights.

i raise the bar and accidentally

hit one of her hard

and pointed breasts,

shaped like

a giant mango.

it nearly takes my

eye out.

what about your calves,

she asked.

beach season is

right around

the corner,

your can't go to the beach

with your

calves looking

like that.

i'm not sure we have

enough time.

have you ever considered

implants?