imagining never

as a child

crossing the Atlantic

i remember

staring

into the grey wash

of a violent

sea,

wind and salt

against my small body,

my hands gripping

the cold rail

and thinking what

if i let go, what if 

i fell into it,

or leaped.

would i be missed.

would

they save me,

or would i sink

and disappear below

the crashing of waves,

the steel

ship

lumbering over

the hole

i fell into.

never to have the life

that was

laid

before me.