making change from the church basket

i'm

at church, when the basket

comes around,

the second

time.

i already put a five

in earlier,

and now

i only have a fifty,

which i need

the change for lunch

and parking

later when i meet Betty

downtown

for brunch and mimosas.

so when the basket

comes to me,

i make change.

leaving a ten, but taking

out two twenties.

this stops

everything. there's gasping.

a woman

beside me faints

and hits her head on the pew.

the priest

comes marching down

the aisle in his

gold trimmed gown

and asks

me what i'm doing.

making change i tell him.

i'm meeting Betty later

and i need

forty bucks. i put ten

in and five in earlier.

a crowd

gathers. an altar boy

throws

a handful of communion

wafers at me,

striking me in the brow.

someone says stone him,

another

says cast him out.

okay, okay, i say, and put

the fifty back in.

jimminy crickets.

i guess i won't be going

back there

for awhile.