with the holidays
coming around
i go to the pet store,
to peruse the rescue
section.
dogs, cats, rabbits, all
sorts
of animals
are waiting to be adopted
or sadly,
onto the next life for them.
but i see
this very attractive woman
in one
corner
of the glassed in cage.
there's a guy across from her
with a black eye,
sitting in a pile of
sawdust and
staring at his phone,
an unlit cigarette dangles
from his
cut lip.
but the woman is
sitting in a big chair with
her legs crossed,
reading a book,
drinking a glass of chardonnay.
brunette,
brown eyes, very nice legs.
pedigree?
i ask the clerk, pointing towards
her.
yes. he says. she's been here
a few hours. wandered in.
just divorced. no kids.
no
drama,
no criminal record or
history
of psychiatric care.
and she reads? i ask. wow.
you've got to be kidding me.
yes. she asked me to bring
her some books
on art history
and French cuisine.
and from what I understand
she has a strong libido,
but is very
low maintenance
and has no special
dietary needs.
apparently she went to Vassar
for her undergraduate degree
and got her MFA at Columbia.
she's a rare one.
we don't get these types in here
very often
and they go quickly.
good lord i say. i'll take her.
ok, the kid says..
i just need to see some
ID and there's a little
bit of paperwork.
you're not crazy or anything,
are you?
pfft, me, no, no. i'm good.
sorry, we just have to ask. we
want to find a good home
for all our rescues.
i understand completely.
okay, great, then just
pull the car up
and we'll bring her out for you.
by the way, after thirty
days, we have a no return
policy, so if you're good with that.
she's all yours.
i shake his hand and sprint
out to the car.
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