the list on the wall

i made a list of why

nots,

why never again

hand written,

on a sheet of clean paper,

but by reason

forty seven

my hand began to cramp

and i stopped,

i set it aside.

but i laminated it

and placed where i could

see it in

times of weakness

and relationship amnesia.

it's still there.

thumbtacked

to the wall.

list two, with ten more

reasons,  right below it.