let me show you my etchings

tell me about yourself, she says.

interviewing me

as a potential relationship,

on a zoom call.

i'm in my pajamas and

having a martini at nine o'clock

in the morning.

well. i say. for starters,

i'm very ambitious.

i have seven  resumes out

right now.

i like to cook as you can see.

i show her my plate of 

scrambled eggs, with cheese

on them.

i'm strong too. i reach over

and pick up my daschund

and put him over my head.

he  starts barking so i put

him down.

i'm loyal and true. smart

and i clean up well. don't let

this screen fool you. i haven't

shaved or taken a shower

in a while. i've been binging

on netflix.  but i bring a lot

to the table.

i've been acquitted of all

charges and i'm almost done

with therapy.

people call me the whole

package. i laugh a little here,

but the screen goes dead

before i can show her

my etchings.