a calm joy

I snap in and out of it.

like an old fashioned photo bulb
exploding
in my eyes.

the flash back, the ruminations,
the sparkle
of what was
then the blur
of black overtaking
it all.

a heart stab, a gut wrench,

then i'm back. I return
to the light.
I shake my head, dazzled

by what was, relief and a calm
joy

reclaims my life.