the great swim

you decide to swim
around the world using
alternate strokes,
the butterfly and
the dog paddle are
your favorites.
you have some free
time on your hands
because work is slow
and your girlfriend
has recently
told you that she no
longer wants to be
in the same room
with you. pffft.
who needs her. so
you start to get ready.
you take vitamins,
spoonfuls of fish oil,
and eat vegetables.
you load up on salmon
and rockfish, tuna.
you consume sardines
like candy. you drink
plenty of milk. every
morning you stretch
and do deep knee
bends, then you soak
in the tub for hours.
sometimes you go under
and hold your breath
for minutes at a time.
you are getting ready
for your swim, your
journey like a fish
across the seven
seas. you stare at
a map of the world
and visualize your
quest. you see that
the world is seventy
five per cent water
and you hope that
someone stops you
before it gets any
further than where
it is.