computer virus

the other day
i accidentally typed
in the words
'women with long legs
wearing nylons
and stilleto heels'
into my computer
and caught a trojan
virus. i was doing
serious reseach
for my anatomy 101
night class at
the local community
college and have a
paper due this friday.
i probably should have
left out the words
'women, heels and nylons,'
but it's too late now.
i immediately dialed
the 1-800 number
the second the screen
went wild and they have
assured me in very calm
and perfect english that
i am in good hands.
jimmy, the lead technician
and his family in india
and i have been on
the phone for four hours.
they have me on speaker
phone as they walk me
through the steps to rid
my pc of this awful
contamination.
every now and then i'll
hear a small child yell
out in the room, hold
control c button,
or delete temporary files,
or i'll hear the word
reboot, reboot in a high
pitched voice, i
don't think that it's
going well though.
suddenly my computer
started to shake after,
out of frustration,
i smacked it on the side
with my hand, and
the monitor spun
around and around and
actually rose a foot or
two above my desk. jimmy,
on the other end said,
ah oh, and there was a
long pause. what, i said,
what. ah oh, what?
and he said that
i may have contracted
the deadly 'linda blair'
virus. what the hell,
i said, and he said,
exactly. what do i do
now jimmy, what do i do.
and he said, you have
two options, what,
i said what. i grabbed
a pen and a piece
of paper, go ahead.
i'm ready, well, he
said. you can either
call a priest to come
for a computer exorcism,
you'll need holy water and
permission from the pope
in rome, which may take
months, or you can throw
it away and buy a mac.
you have no other options.
i am so sorry my friend.
is there anything else
i can help you with?