children

we had

a bad dog. a really bad

dog.

the barking,

the nipping,

the tearing up of furniture

and trash.

peeing

on table legs,

gnawing.

walking him was like

walking

a fish.

impossible.

so we put him into

the local

Dog School.

he graduated with honors.

then he

went to grad school.

four years later

we took him

home.

immediately

he peed in the middle

of the floor

and bit me.

we're taking him back

to get his

PHD.

next week.

we're hopeful that at

some

point

he'll run away.