same as it ever was

as a child

church bored me.

the preaching,

the mystery of it all.

the robed

priests, the altar boys,

the nuns.

the smoke

and mirrors, 

the mass in Latin.

pressing us to fear God.

the horrible songs.

the collection box.

i felt bad about

myself,

the things i was doing

at ten, at eleven,

at twelve.

my thoughts,

my heart always filled

with guilt,

and never despite confession

and penance,

free of it all.

my knees still ache

from trying.

nothing has changed,

church still bores

me.

it's exactly the same.