service, i go up to our new
minister,
Reverand Jerome Jackson
to have
a discussion with him
about my prayers
not being answered.
call me J J, he says, putting
his hand on my shoulder.
so what's the problem son.
well, i tell him. none
of my prayers are being
answered. i come to church
every Sunday and put
money in the basket, i
sing in the choir and i'm
even making pancakes
in the morning for the men's
early bird bible study,
but i'm not getting any
results.
hmmm, he says. tell me
what you're praying for.
well, my marriage is on
the rocks, i think my wife
is cheating on me,
and my mother has arthritis
in her hands.
i pray that my son will get
a job and move out
of the basement.
plus, i'm having trouble
house training my dog.
he stops me there. okay, okay.
so tell me, how much to you
put into the basket every Sunday.
i usually put five bucks in.
maybe three or four dollars
if i'm short that week.
he shakes his head.
oh my, oh my.
what if i paid you five dollars
a week to work for me?
how hard would you work?
not very hard, right?
and you want God to answer
all those prayers for twenty
dollars a month?
he pulls out a laminated
sheet and starts counting
on his fingers, according to my
prayer request sheet here,
you should be giving about
four hundred dollars a month,
at least if you want God
to give you a listen. okay?
so how about we step it up
on those contributions.
i have to go now, my limo
is waiting for me, i'm on
vacation next week in Palm Springs,
but i'll see you when
i get back.
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