for a good time call my friend Tony

if you want to have

a nice wedding,

or a great funeral, you have

to go Italian.

they know what they're doing

when it comes

to those events.

if you want a good time,

you have to rent

a hall

and have all your Italian

relatives and friends

involved.

singing, dancing, drinking,

eating.

it's a wild fun time,

and same goes for the funeral.

Catholics know

what they're doing when

it comes to death.

they've got that down.

the smoke and mirrors,

everyone in black,

aunt Delores with her lasagna.

the candles burning, the priest.

and altar boys.

a few words in Latin.

the whole shebang,

a major production as they

show you the way out,

you'll get a lot of hysterical.

crying too,

as they carry you down 

cemetery road.