mail order bride
from the Ukraine
until she's standing on the porch
with her one suitcase,
ringing the bell.
i look through the peep hole
and see her shaking
her long blonde hair,
and smacking her puffy red lips
together.
yikes, i say out, loud. Olga?
i open the door and let her in.
what the hell, she says,
in her russian accent.
i've been out here ten minutes.
you treat me like a dog.
where have you been?
you call this love. a marriage?
i don't think so.
in my country my brothers
would kill you with an axe
for such rude behavior.
sorry, i was in the bathtub
reading a new cook book
about intermittent fasting.
i'm hungry, she says, throwing
herself onto the couch.
no fasting, kill me a pig
and cook it, then
fix me a drink. no ice.
yes, my love i tell her.
oh, and where's my ring. i want
a big diamond, like you give
all the girls.
and take my bag up to my room.
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