planning the future

i could never figure out

how so

many kids

in school knew exactly what they

wanted to be

when they grew up.

i'm going to be a mechanic,

or a chef.

or a politician, they'd say.

they had their minds

made up.

a builder, an artist

or a singer.

i'm going to dance or act,

you'd hear them

discussing their future lives

in the cafeteria, or on 

the yellow bus back home.

but i couldn't get

past the next

day. worried about what

clothes i had to wear,

what shoes didn't have a hole

in them.

what would i eat for dinner

that night.

would my father beat up my

mother tonight and would the cops

come in time

to save her life.