disappearing

if it's cancer
he tells
me i'll kill myself.
swallow a bottle
of pills,
drink heavily.
they can put me out
on the curb
after that.
food for the dogs,
the worms. i don't want
to lose my hair,
he says, putting his hand
through the thick
brown swirl, uncombed
upon his head.

i'm driving, and look
over at him,
as he coughs
up the syrup of blood.
he's
bleary eyed and cold.
he stares out
the wet window
and wonders where his
life has
gone.

i pull up to the emergency
entrance
and he wobbles out
towards
the hands that guide him
towards the end
of his life.
he turns
to wave, and smiles.
i wave and wait until
he disappears, then go.