self help manuals

needing more shelf
space
on your set of shelves
holding
so many of your books,
you evaluate what can be
tossed, or
given away. you go
to the self help row
and find a dusty
array of possibilities.
divorce for dummies,
a fat yellow book,
that describes in easy
to follow step by
step instructions of
how to get a lawyer
and send your soon
to be ex packing,
or vice versa.
there is a diagram
on how to saw furniture
in half. another chapter
advises on what kind
of candy to give
your children to make
them stop crying.
then there's the venus
and mars manual and
dvd attached. telling
you how men and women
are different. shocking
revelations.
such enlightenment
one never knew.
how to boil an egg,
is another book,
containing that
and other after
the divorce recipes,
toast, how to get it
right the first time
and every time. nine
things to do with
lunch meat before it
spoils. you'll
save this book.
how to meet girls, is
another, post divorce,
manual. step one being
revamp your wardrobe,
discard anything plaid,
or with holes in it.
step two, shave off those
mutton chops and
the hair from your nose
and ears. step three,
go easy on the cologne.
another piece of
good advice.
so many books that got
you through those tender
and frightful early
hours of being single.
it's hard to throw any
of them into the fire,
just yet.
maybe you'll just buy
more shelves.