Bud Light

my neighbor Bill

is thinking about becoming a woman.

he's on

tik tok

all the time, and watches

all the you tube

vids on

transgenders.

Bruce Jenner is his hero.

are you sure you want

to do this Bill?

i ask him,

as we cook hot dogs on the grill,

drinking beer.

i flip over a hot

dog that's starting to burn,

but can't help

but think of Bill

removing his own

appendage.

i like fashion, he says. i like

pretty things.

i like to wear pink and yellow

in the spring.

sometimes i wear high heels

in the house

when the kids

are out.

i look at him, so what.

but you like women too.

you've been married three

times and have

four kids.

yeah, yeah he says, rubbing

the sweat and smoke

out of his eyes. 

touching the stubble on his chin.

i'm really on the fence with

all of this.

have you ever seen Cats? he

asks me.

nope.

well, i've seen it seven times.

the choreography, the costumes

and the make up

are absolutely amazing.

i pull a plump charred

hot dog off the grill

and set it in a bun.

mustard on your dog, Bill?

yes, but no relish, i'm watching

my weight.

i saw a one piece bathing

suit in the window

at Nordstroms

that i might get once

the estrogen kicks in.

i nod, whatever floats your boat

Bill, i always say.

how about another beer,

i have some old Bud Lite

in the fridge, if you want

to switch over from Heineken.

okay, he says.

and by the way,

is it okay if i still play golf

with you guys

on the weekends once i switch

over?

of course, of course,

and you can even tee off from

the white tees now.