discussion group by a friendly woman
who i see on occasion as she walks
her dog.
we'd like to have a man's opinion
sometimes, she says, please join us tonight
if you aren't too busy.
it's quite an invigorating
few hours of intellectual discussion.
why not, i tell her.
i've got nothing else to do.
no games are on tonight.
so, having just moved into
the area, and in an attempt to make
new friends, i show up at eight.
new button down shirt,
a little dab of old spice on,
carrying a martini.
tonight's topic is love
i see by the sign on the door
the word Love
written inside a big heart.
i smile smugly as i sit down
in my chair, love, pfffft.
i got this. i cross
my arms and wink at a woman
a few seats down. she's wearing
camouflage pants
and a clunky pair of black doc martins.
she shakes her head at me
and appears to shudder,
as she pulls her legs tightly together.
the eight of us are sitting in
a big circle of mismatched
lawn chairs, dining room
chairs, and an oak barrel
brought in from the garage.
okay, the leader, Emily, says.
still in her yoga pants and
slowly nibbling on an enormous carrot.
who wants to start us off?
i see we have a new participant
here, he wishes to remain
anonymous, or to be called
jimmy. but let's make him feel welcome
and give him a round of applause,
how brave of him to come out
in this weather, and being
the only male willing to attend
our discussion group since the start
of the me too movement.
i nod and smile, taking in the warm
applause. for flair, i give a nice bow,
careful not to spill my martini.
the subject is Love, Emily says,
putting her hand to her heart
and closing her eyes
with a beatific smile on her face.
Love. Love makes the world go round,
but what is love, what makes us love.
is love sustainable throughout
a marriage, a relationship,
or are we all doomed to stray
when love goes awry or loses
it's initial drug like infatuation?
is it chemical, emotional, a combination
of the two.
can one be friends and make love,
and yet not be in love?
why do men think sex is akin
to love?
i raise my hand.
yes, jimmy, question? it's a little
early for questions, but go ahead.
yes. well it's more of a comment
than a question.
Go on Jimmy.
okay, now hear me out.
i think it's okay to have sex with
people you're friends with,
if it's mutual, and there's the
possibility that it may develop
into love. i'm not talking about
the one night stand, the hook up,
or wham bam thank you mam,
or who's your daddy,
but you know. friends
with benefits. i think sometimes
that will turn into love.
maybe, maybe not, ya know?
it's a good way to jump start things though.
i mean sometimes you meet someone
and you've both had a few
cocktails and the next
thing you know you're in the back
seat of a car
doing the wild thing.
silence. crickets.
i see a woman with her knitting
needles out, but she's
not knitting.
someone breaks out a giant
tupperware tub of cookies.
the cork of a wine bottle
gets popped.
Emily breaks her carrot in half
with a loud snap
and throws it towards
a trash can in the kitchen,
umm, jimmy. i have no idea
what you're talking about, but
thank you for that very man like
explanation of what love can be
in your mixed up world.
the woman i winked at raises her
hand, yes, Jude, question?
i vote that we make Jimmy leave
this discussion group, can we
take a vote?
sure, Emily says. let's vote.
all in favor
of Jimmy leaving the group, raise their hand.
everyone raises their hand,
some raise both hands.
i get up, okay, okay. i get it, i get it.
i'm leaving.
and as i walk by the cookie
dish, i grab a few for the road,
taking a bite of one,
what the hell, oatmeal, with raisins?
who made these?
why would anyone bring oatmeal
cookies to a discussion group?
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