the waiting room

you wake up in a room
where there is no light.
you are not blind,
but you are awake.
you see nothing.
there is someone
sitting beside your bed,
smoking. you hear a drink
in his hand.
the clink of ice
against the glass.
where am I, you ask.
who are you?
who is here with me?
you're fine
the voice says.
relax. lie there
and think good thoughts.
I'm here to take you
to the next place.
am I dead?
no, not exactly.
but you need a good
talking to,
so we're taking you
for a ride tonight
to tell you some things.
to help you, let's
just say live a better life.
I don't allow smoking
in my house, you
tell the man.
sorry he says.
and drops the cigarette
onto the floor
where you hear his
shoe rub it out.
you dropped that on my
oriental rug you say, annoyed.
hey, I said I'm sorry.
if you had an ashtray
in here maybe I wouldn't
have done that.
you sigh.
what things, what things
am I going to be told.
he laughs and takes
out a pack of gum,
stick, he says? spearmint.
no you tell him,
I can't move my arms
and I can't see where
I am. how can I possibly
chew gum. what the hell
is going on here?
he chuckles. hell might
have something to do with
it he says. let's just
say you're getting
a chance to right the ship.
look, you tell him,
this isn't about what
happened to me and Sheila
is it? that was entirely
her fault, I never
would have stepped
out on her, if she
had shown me the least
little bit of affection
once in a while.
calm down, he says.
calm down. you're gonna
have a stroke.
this has nothing to do
with Sheila. it's
bigger than that.
it's more general. more
about tweaking your way
of life. your carefree
life, I might add he says,
smacking hard on his gum.
well, when, when am I
going? soon, he says.
soon. they're a little
backed up right now.
just hold on, like I said.
think good thoughts.
do you have anymore scotch?
the bottle is kind of low.
and what's with the ice
cube trays, you don't
have an ice maker?
do you know what century
this is. I bet you have
a butter churn too,
he laughs, getting up to go
down the stairs to
the kitchen. be right
back, he says. like I
said, think good thoughts.
bathroom, down the hall?