the quiet sign

you put
a no talking sign
up
in your house.
it lights
up with red
letters, quiet
it says,
and you point
to it
when you want
someone to be
silent,
and if they
keep babbling
on and on
about something
you have no
interest in, you
ask them to
come to the window
and look
at that cute
kitten
out in the street,
when they
are standing
where you want
them to stand,
peering outside,
you push a button
which releases
a trap door
that sends them out
with a whoosh
to the sidewalk
on a slide.