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we want
you to join our
club.
sign here,
don't be a dope,
pay
this amount
and forever you
will get
our discounts,
our deals,
our prices
slashed.
sign here.
be a member,
don't be left
out. don't be
a loser.
a low life
bum.
we'll send you
a membership
card in the mail
that you can
yearly
renew.
don't be left
behind.
take this pen,
press
against this form,
and sign.
forever and after
you die,
you will get our
weekly
notifications of
what's on sale,
what's new,
all the things you'll
ever need
and want until
the end of time.