you aren't there

when you awaken
you are in a strange
room but you are not
alone. everyone
is there. anyone
that mattered, and
they are dressed
nicely, some have
flowers in their
hands, some are
crying. many are
quiet, awkwardly so.
and they gather
around you and stare,
they whisper things
you cannot hear.
there is music playing,
and everyone is polite
as they move about
and mingle,
you want to join in,
but you can't. you
are asleep and yet
awake. this is not
the end you want to
tell them, but the
beginning of your
life. you want to
comfort their sadness
and sorrow with words,
but you cannot speak.
you have used up
all your words when
you were with them. you
want to put your arms
around them and tell
things they need to
know, but you can't.
you aren't there.