nip and tuck

i'm fighting
gravity, she says.
aren't we all,
i respond back,
picking up a fork
i just dropped onto
the floor. i do
the pinch
around the waist,
to see if i can
have dessert
tonight, and another
glass of wine. i'm
good for both.
she pulls the skin
back on her face,
towards her ears,
with her thumbs,
i should have this
done, don't you
think. just pull it
all back, erase
fifteen years.
sure i tell her,
why not. if it makes
you feel better,
go for it monkey
face. what? she
says, did you call
me monkey face, well,
that's what they'll
call you behind
your back when you
have your face done.
oh, really, she
says. yes. i tell
her. think rhesus
monkey. how about
a slice of banana
cream pie, cheetah.
it's all about
lighting from this
point on, i tell
her, meet people
in dark places
with friendly
lighting. change all
the bulbs in your
house to forty watts.
you'll see, well,
sort of, but those
little tiny lines
that you have around
your lips and at
the corners of your
saggy eyes won't
be as noticeable.
what about twenty
five watts, she says?
even better, i
tell her. even better.